....THE UNSUB....

The Unsub
by Anna Carmela Guzman on Saturday, April 23, 2011 at 1:40pm


College thesis taught me that attitude is a person’s way of thinking over a short period of time. It could change from day to day, weekly and in a month. Behavior, on the other hand, takes longer to acquire. It’s all the factors of a person’s past and present. You take into consideration a person’s educational, socio-economical and family background to come up with the reason why he behaves in a certain way.

In everything a person does, there’s always a WHY. That’s the first thing you should always ask yourself to get into the mind of someone. Why does he arrange his clothes in a certain way? Why does he love kids? Why is she a man-hater? Why does a full-grown adult refuse to eat vegetables? Every move has a reason behind it.
A person acts a certain way because of a stressor. A stressor could be a lot of things – abuse, traumatic childhood, broken relationships, bullying – the list could go on. Then, as that person grows older, he finds ways to act on these frustrations. A kid who didn’t have a father or a mother growing up could tend to look for an older partner, in the same way that an eldest child in the family might look for a partner who would take care of her because all her life she’s been taking care of her siblings. Nothing’s wrong with this, it’s human nature. We all have needs and we find satisfaction in other people.

There are however, instances when acting on life’s frustrations can become dangerous. One frustration could lead to another when the former is not met. Some often resort to extreme ways that could later on damage relationships and reputations. It’s typical to be scared, to desperately cover tracks and to try to save whatever’s left.

I’m saying this because after 27 (and counting) episodes of what could be the best crash course in human psychology, I can easily read through your actions now. Am I mad? Hell yes. I’m Jason Gideon-level pissed. In all my online life, I’ve come to hate posers. I’ve been reporting accounts of people who I know are not who they claim to be and yet one is circling right under my radar undetected.

I pretty much let my Mom be when it comes to her Facebook account. She belongs to the small statistic of uber-active Facebook users in her age range. When I come home she’s always got something to share about who she met, who she’s been talking to. Being the cyber-bitch that I was years ago, I make sure to constantly remind her to be careful of what she shares and more importantly, who she shares it with.

I’ve seen her sleep at 5am over some asshole who posed as a certain person who resides in London. Oh, since when was London where Enchanted Kingdom is?

But just like all things in life, it can get worse.

Worse, because my family treated you as one of us. Worse, because I know you’re important to my Mom because I’m pretty sure you kept her company when she needed one. I didn’t mind installing Skype and her staying up late because I know she was happy she could talk to someone. Worse, because you took posing to an entirely new level.

We all have problems – emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually. I’m dealing with all of that right now, believe me. But the last thing on my mind is taking advantage of a person’s trust and using it to my benefit.

So going back to what I established in the beginning, why are you doing this? Why take on an identity you know is not yours and take advantage of a person’s trust in you? Was letting my Mom add CK your way of admitting to her about what you’re doing wrong? Because you could’ve easily refused to let her add CK. But you did, then you did some damage control over something my Mom was totally clueless about. Come to think of it, there wouldn’t be this issue if you didn’t pressure her to delete either CK or B. That in itself has guilt written all over it.

But you can turn this around. Sure you’re guilty and you’re scared but right now anything is better than continuing what you’re doing. The best damage control is to ‘fess up, not spinning new stories. And you know it.

One of the things I learned in those 27 episodes is to show compassion to unsubs who acted on a stressor that stems to when they were still young. It’s psychological. It’s their way of coping. So at some corner in this brain of mine, there’s a little bit of understanding. But the rest is just fed-up with bullshit.

I don’t need any more explanations and stories. You know who you’re answerable to. And by all means consider this a threat when I say I have connections to the real person involved.

Take care of my mom? Damn straight, I will. And I’m beginning by keeping her from people like you.