...may this soul burn in hell....

---every once in a while we have our sisters, brothers, friends, wives, husbands, BFF (best friends forever) or even a kind-hearted soul out in the streets to confide our deepest secrets with. this is normal esp in our younger years when we confide our "crushes" or "secret loves" to our best friend. i cannot recall now who i confided my secrets with but i had one favorite niece who became my partner in doing character assasinations. and i also recall a good friend who is now in toronto, canada whom i trusted confiding my personal secrets/problems & character assasination, as well. i missed both of them. the character assasination part was fun - i dare anyone who has not been doing this in her entire life!

---character assasination or in other linggo 'pang o-ok-ray" sa kapwa is done discreetly. you don't do this openly, less it will spark a nasty relationship esp when it's done among your friends or relatives. and this is the main point of my blog.

---when husband got back from australia, it took sometime before he got this job at bangko sentral (BSP) to work as a staff with a monetary board member. a wife of his cousin works at the library section of the bank. this woman (let's call her "lucy") doesn't have a good reputation in human relations. she looks down upon a number of people around her. she looks down on all the relatives of her husband, her mother-in-law included). husband has already warned me in befriending lucy since he has already known her from adam & the wicked character she has. but i didn't listen. and to this day, i regretted why for the first time, i defied my husband's warning in exchange for friendship with lucy.

---wow, we hit it off rightaway. we would exchange phone calls & text messages, hi's and hello's until bitchy as both we were, our conversations eventually touched on the lives of relatives - the guzmans & banataos. at first, they were honest opinions and views about the lives of these people. then our opinions turned to mockery and eventually we were already doing character assasination on each and every relative, rich & poor.... take note, i said "we" because i'm not a hypocrite in admitting my part of the game while towards the end this SHIT OF A WOMAN just pinned on me saying those things about them. i really don't know why she kept my text messages and maliciously showed them to the persons concerned. and she kept denying saying it was "accidental"? wow, how can you be so stupid showing and sharing private messages to people involved in what was supposed to be a discreet conversation between only 2 persons? up until today it still puzzles me. what was her motive? if only to destroy me to my husband's relatives? why? what will she benefit? what will i benefit? oh yes, i know now. i was made to appear as the wicked one.

---and to you - yes, YOU! you know who you are. you succeeded in destroying my reputation to the guzmans & banataos. and how about your part of the story. do these people know what were also your exact nasty words towards them? shame on you! you were saying a mouthful against the banataos - esp those in the US and yet you have the nerve to step inside their mansion in america (those were your words) and mingle and show your angelic face to them! mahiya ka naman sa kaluluwa mo!!! ting & i and my daughter, perhaps will never have that opportunity to step inside that mansion so i have nothing to say about it. you also talked about their riches, about how ugly they are and endless blah-blahs about their richness. you talk about how these people had their noses and faces done. shame on you for being chummy-chummy with yvonne and yet you stab her behind her back.

---i have kept my silence for so many years. cried buckets and stomach the shame, insults and dagger looks of the guzmans and banataos. and now that i have experienced the same during the wake & burial of my mother-in-law and i finally concluded there is no more light & hope for my sister-in-law to patch things up again. and so i'm opening up old wounds again because when i saw you again during the wake and burial, i wanted to kill you 10 times over if only to redeem myself.

---i have been kind to mama while you never even laid your eyes on auntie paro; i spoon-fed mama when she was hospitalized while you never even handed your mother-in-law a glass of water; i had happy memories with the relatives of my husband while you only bragged about your money to them so you can always be there when needed - for the love of money. and shame on you if you can show your face to your husband's relatives in cagayan if it's your mother-in-law's time - oh you will, because you have your money, anyway.

---your reputation in your office speaks highly of your character. you're bossy, arrogant and a bitch in the highest form. and for what you have done to me and the others whom you've looked down upon, your actions are unforgivable. i can always be right, go get yourself another name because you don't have the HEART of a kind person.