a showcase of personalities, statuses, cars & hypocrisies...

---i will not elaborate further my relationship with the relatives of my husband as i have already written quite a few unpleasant experiences with them in my first blog (about the death of my mother-in-law). detailing each & every experience will make me more look like a sore loser to the point of sulking & asking for self-pity.

---i had only 2 occasions to go visit her wake, and it was not so good as this relative (ann) made me an 'unwelcomed' guest so i was forced to stay outside the chapel and thereby left after only about a half hour's visit. add to that, my sister-in-law wasn't really interested in accepting me back as a member of the family inasmuch as i wanted to do my share as a daughter-in-law/sister-in-law, i felt that i already had no business & contribute something to the wake.

---there were unending discussions and tears here at home if i would go & attend the funeral. husband left me with the decision & did not argue nor gave in to pressure. he left it all up to me. i never made it hard for him. inasmuch as i really did not want to show up, i knew in his heart that i'd be doing him a big favor attending his mother's funeral, after all he is the "bunso" or the youngest.

---yesterday, the 8th, the 3 of us (husband, me & carmela) attended. mass was officiated by fr. engelberto guzman-gammad who flew all the way from san jose, calif. it was a showcase of how life has been lucky for those who arrived in well-polished vehicles, a relative sporting blonde hair who did all the works on her face (& i remember her to be pretty & charming years back. ah, see what money can do). then the "cream of the crop" came. he is my m-i-l's favorite nephew, being one of america's top contributor to information technology. he was said to have been in a meeting with our newly appointed president before he came for the funeral. but in due fairness, this family has been so good to us. i remember their parents (the father being my m-i-l's brother) has been extremely generous even before carmela was born. we will never forget the kindness & generosity of the banataos. our relations just had a strain because of some nossy relatives who didn't want to see harmony among us.

---ann has a twin sister (malou) who, just months back announced to the entire barangay roxas that she won a car in a raffle. as wicked as her twin, she instantly paraded her toyota-vios in front of the house - checking on it every single minute & even made a side remark that she has to leave due to an impending rain & she didn't want her beloved vios to get stuck in a flood. say what? it was just a rainshower & not a repeat of typhoon ondoy! in ilocano linggo, we call it "ag-bibisin" meaning one who hungered for something for a very long time. in fact, we see her now as if she has already started to idolize her car! oh brother!!!! before winning that car, when she'd come here to visit her twin (ann), she would come in quietly, with umbrella on hand, perspiring profusely. and now that she has her vios, well....

---yesterday, while waiting for the mass to start, i was seated outside over the rented tent and was chatting with a favorite relative (pacquing guzman). came the personalities in their shimmering-splendid 4-wheeled vehicles. they are the rich and royalties. we are the "in-betweens" living modestly, & came with our reliable 1997 model & ever-dependable "pogi". the others came in old models and rusty vans. i thought i'd still see a hired bus but thank goodness all the people fit in each other's 4-wheeled vehicles.

---the mass went on smoothly. fr. toto alternately said his mass in english, spanish & itawis. his homily was touching (touching for the others but not exactly for me). there was still sheer hypocrisy to what he said but let's give it for the dead. that was to be the last spoken for her so... during the offertory, there were 5 persons tasked to offer: vincho (candles); carmela (flowers); mitos (chalice); vivian (wine) and the vios woman (hosts). wow, what a sight! vios woman wanted to go first, ahead of carmela and this clearly showed (if i had a camera with me) that she shoved carmela so she could go first, whah!!! good thing, husband (who was the lector) saw this and motioned her to let carmela go first. strike one.

---start of the funeral cortege, all 4 siblings rode in one vehicle, as the saying goes. and they were supposed to be behind the hearse. one vehicle followed (that was supposed to be car no. 2 whom i supposed carried sister-in-law's family), so i gave due respect and stayed close as car no. 3. whoa! horror of all horrors, vios suddenly appeared and followed car no. 1!!! WTF! so now, i concluded the wicked twin was just parading her beloved vios, wanting to be first in line, never mind if she breaks protocol & respect from the other "IMMEDIATE" family members. strike two.

---there was the usual rites before the burial but i chose remain distant. i looked at all their faces. i know some were whispering why me, as the daughter-in-law did not even come forward to pay my last respect. this thing has to be settled by me & my m-i-l in private. i don't need an audience to say how sorry i am for my shortcomings, i don't need people to comment on how loud my wailing was even if it was fake, i don't need to show off because it's not my style. and lastly, i know where my family stand. i don't need to brag about anything to those relatives, rich or poor because i value sincerity. at first we all hit off right away - i remember how the people in iguig received us warmly during our few occasional visits in cagayan. yesterday, it was like meeting them again for the firt time.

---i hope my m-i-l, wherever she is now will certainly somehow appreciate how good a daughter-in-law i was before our relationship strained until we stopped talking & seeing each other up until she passed away. i was a good wife to her son, raised my daughter to be a good person & never brought shame to the guzmans. i hope she rests in peace now & let us, the living go on with our lives.